Earlier studies have shown that younger smokers seem to enter adulthood with more psychological problems than non-smokers. Additionally, adult smokers have been shown to have higher levels of depression and anxiety. These are the type of problems which can lead to relationship problems.
The study from ISR tracked more than 33,000 young adults and found that smoking rates were far above average among those men and women who would later divorce; thus, smoking is a predictor of divorce.
Doherty worked with nationally representative data from the General Social Survey, which is administered annually by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.
Quitting Smoking:
Quitting, even with a supportive spouse and when one wants to quit, is not an easy thing to accomplish. A quote by the famous author Mark Twain supports this theory: "To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I have done it a thousand times."It appears that separated and divorced persons are less likely to quit smoking than married persons. It is thought that the social support that a spouse can provide helps increase the probability of ceasing to smoke. However, a smoker with marital problems has more stress in his/her life, and has a lower chance of success in quitting smoking.
Marriage Effect Studies:
We found several research projects that connect marriage and smoking. One study demonstrates that marriage has positive health benefits, especially for men. While another one shows that, unfortunately, marriage does not have a positive effect on smoking habits. Mr. Bachman says that although marriage can cut down the amount a person drinks, what he calls the "marriage effect" brought about only a slight reduction in cigarette smoking habits.Non-Smoking Spouse Concerns:
Many non-smoking spouses have very strong feelings about their partner's smoking habit. The feelings can range from concern, fear, and disgust to feeling unimportant, disappointed and hurt. Some partners interpret their spouse's not quitting smoking as saying that they don't care about their own health, and ultimately don't really care about their spouse or family.Secondhand Smoke:
ETS or secondhand smoke is finding its way into custody cases. Some parents have lost their parental rights or have had major restrictions placed on their visitation rights.Travel:
Another area that can cause conflict in a marriage between a smoker and a non-smoker is traveling. Many romantic places are becoming entirely non-smoking. Additionally, deciding whether or not to sit in smoking sections of restaurants and airports, where offered, can also cause conflict. So a great opportunity for some alone time for such a couple would only cause more stress.Other Health Risks:
Non-smoking spouses and children are exposed to second-hand smoke, may adopt the same negative behaviors, and often have poor nutrition and diets.Bottom Line:
It appears that smoking can have a negative effect not only on your physical health, but on your emotional health and marriage relationship, too.Whether or not one openly says so, smoking cigarettes is making a statement that "I don't care about my health" and having that kind of attitude has to be bad for the morale of the other partner.
It invites thoughts of having to care for a sick partner and becoming an early widow/widower, and that's before you think about consequences for any children involved. Smoking, as much as alcoholism or drug addiction, is a truly selfish act.
It puts the minor pleasure of a "drag" above one's family. They used to have a series of anti-smoking ads where people who were dying of lung cancer had to write letters apologizing to their families for leaving them so soon.
I think that really shows that, to the smoker, Marlborough is more important than marriage and Kools are more important than kids."
1 spouse smoker poll:
Are you bothered about your spouse's smoking habit?
YES- 89%
NO- 7%
SOMETIMES- 3%
POSTED BY A BLOGGER..........Ok....so I've read a bunch of the posts and didn't see any along the lines of my issue. I'm married to a smoker and it stinks. It has completely turned me off of the idea of sex because I cant stand kissing. I like the sex and avoind kissing but its just not the same and just is part if it. She was a smoker when we got married but promised to quit which was about 13 years ago. I really miss the closeness and intimacy...especially the kissing. Smokers are just plain gross. No matter how much she brushes her teeth it doesn't help and she just doesn't get that its the breath and everything else. Does this sound familaiar to anyone else? how do you deal with it? I'm to the point where I'm looking outside the marriageto get what I want but with 2 kids could never leave,,,,,I feel it would screw them up too much.
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